Midlife Crisis - Lets See It For What It Really Is!


Every few years a new trend comes upon us in fashion and in physical appearances. We went through the skinny years with twiggy and yet the trend now is to have a size F breasts, a 24-inch waist and 34-inch hips (slight exaggeration). Our stomachs have to be flat and taunt, our skin tan and tight, our teeth dazzling white and flawless, our hair soft and silky, our eye color can change with contacts and our nose can be altered surgically to be small and cute.In retaliation for the dental, facial, surgical procedures we go through to become the goddess of love for our men - we expect they in turn hit the repair shop themselves.

Our men are expected to be trim and tight, buns that are cute and round, a six-pack stomach, and nice muscular tan legs. We expect hair full and styled, their teeth must be perfect and white, and they must remove hair from their back, ears and noses. The men that get the perfect woman must become the perfect men.Although I live in Florida, I have yet to see a fountain restore youth. Whenever we reach a certain age, fat begins to bulge in certain places, hair grows where it never did before and we start to have pain in areas that never hurt.

The men as well as the women lose their waists, their skins sags and eyesight fails. Most women look like they have lain out during a hailstorm as the dents and dings of cellulite starts make its debut. Men begin to have "boobs".In the haste to create the perfect body to attract the perfect mate, we have by passed the most important feature needed to live a happy and fulfilling life. The spirit has been neglected. The body is just a vessel for our spirit to live in within this plane.

Whenever we give credence to the search for a physical perfection in our mate and in ourselves, we can shortchange the entire reason for our being. We are spiritual energies on this plane and at this time to accomplish different task of self as well as earthly improvements.I do not insinuate a perfect body does not house a good spirit. I am stating that if you turn away spirits because of the body that housed them is less than perfect - then you have indeed shortchanged someone and yourself. I can personally guarantee you that this was not the intention of the Great Spirit. I have always tried to stay on the good side of that energy.

Reading about the locust was enough to make me realize that punishment is not just for children.So many people go through mid life crisis because they have begun to show their age or begin to feel worthless because they have a few extra pounds. This breaks my heart. People that are critical of others bodies are being shallow and should look at their selves in the mirror. I myself stay on a constant diet trying to look nice and feel better. There is a line with me whenever I feel better as well as look neater. However, at times I need to practice what spirit teaches instead of just preaching it.

There is nothing wrong with improving your physical looks as long as you remember the greatest quest is one of spirit. I told a friend of mine, who passed over many spiritually good women to find the perfect physique "look for the person inside, then if she is interested in the great make over - BONUS! However, remember that this is her choice and your money. She may definitely want a tune up on you as well!"The spirit within is the true beauty of a person, the physical vehicle that carries it is like the car you drive. A man looking for a woman with a great body is like a woman looking for a man with a great car.

Six of one equals a half dozen of the other. Both take a lot of money.In the closing of this chapter, I would remind you of the Venus flytrap that attracts its prey with beauty. The point is, not all that is beautiful and attractive on the outside is sweet and loving on the inside. It is truly, what is on the inside that counts.


Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances.La Fontaine
Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy.E. H. Chapin

Why 'Baby Boomer' Women Can't Afford to Retire And Tips To Bounce Back


A shocking report in the Los Angeles Times showed that single women are at the greatest risk of living in poverty. Why? This is due because of lower wages, more spending and only bringing in a single paycheck. Many of us Baby Boomer women have to dramatically downsize our lives as we grow older. Instead of basking in retirement, many of us cannot even mutter the word ‘retirement’ let alone think of it. Instead, many of us have to work three jobs to stay afloat. But why?

Boomers Spend, Baby, Spend
‘The American Dream’ portrays the idea that having more is equated with being more. The bigger the house, the bigger the car and the bigger the shoe collection is correlated with being higher on the socio-economic ladder. Susan Sterne of the Economic Analysis Association notes that, “The consumer spree arose because consumers between 35 and 44 spend about 20% more than average consumers. Those between 45 and 54 spend about 30% more. Put these two age groups together and you have 40% of US households. This same group is responsible for half of the nation’s spending”.

Breadwinning Women?
In the past, many ‘Baby Boomer’ women in their relationships had no direct control of their finances. I know that I fell victim to indirectly to this same feat. It was not that we did not care; we were just not educated in managing and budgeting our capitol. Many of us feel and act uncomfortable around the topic of money. We (and I find myself guilty of this) wish that there was a man to come to the rescue and save the day.

What Rainy Day?
Hmmmm. What to do? Do you buy a new pair of Cheetah print Sling-backs or put an extra $100 in savings? (My closet has the tell tale signs of my shoe addiction.) Instead of saving for retirement, Boomers have spent their lives ‘living in the now’. Unfortunately, many of us have not saved enough to support our lifestyle leaving us in debt.

A recent Los Angeles Times article reported that, “Ellen Tucker Emerson cut short her nursing career to help raise her children, but money was never a worry. "He bought me furs and jewelry. We stayed at the best hotels.” Once her marriage was over, her financial life looked very different. Instead of taking glamorous trips, she sweats bullets to pay her bills. At age 51, Ellen wonders how she will get by in retirement

Bounce Back and Bounce Better
Regardless of your age or situation, the time to take action is today! It’s NEVER too late. It has been gratifying to see that even if you have had a rocky financial road, you can make a change anytime you decide. Trust me, I know. I had $88,000 of corporate credit card debt as the result of losing my marriage and business the same year. In four years I paid off my debt and moved from a pool house to a lovely home.

As a life coach, it has been extremely rewarding to me to see women in their 60’s make successful career changes. You are never too old to take control of your life!

Tips:

• Get Real
If your financial goals and needs are fuzzy, you will never be able to get ahead. Take a month and track all of your expenses and your income. If credit cards have been a problem, take a month and just use cash for your expenses. It is astonishing how cash will wake you up. When it’s gone it’s gone. I have found it helpful to put cash in separate envelopes. Groceries, gas, entertainment, medical, etc.

• Write Down Your Goals
Seeing is believing. When you write down your goals, you are first acknowledging the situation, the first step to a turnaround. By putting your goals on paper, you are creating your plan of action and that you will achieve.

• Do Not Let Fear or Shame Stop You
Many women feel ashamed of being in tight financial situations. Remember there is strength in numbers, so take refuge with a friend. Many times, money problems are more strenuous and difficult to talk about than relationship problems. Step up and get out, seek the help you need. Just speaking to another woman can help you get back to enjoying your life.

• Get Help
Seeking Financial Assistance will help to alleviate the problem. By speaking to experts who are trained in this field of expertise, they will be able to give you hands on information and support to steer you in the right direction. The NABBW has many superb resources. You will learn there are other ‘Boomers’ just like you dealing with the same issues.